In 2006, my friends and I headed out to the club to dance and enjoy the nightlife. We had a venue that we frequented due to one of my closest friends dating someone that worked there (who is now her husband). We would go each weekend and every weekend we would see the guy in the hat. I remember turning to my friend Amanda and saying, I’m going to go say hi to the guy in the hat. He is here all the time just like us (no judgement please of my younger self). I walked up to him and said, hey you’re the guy with the hat. He laughed and we started talking. For 2 years we would see each other and talk. He was the only guy I knew that would talk about books at the club so I found myself enjoying our conversations. We both had a significant other at the time, so it never crossed my mind that he might be my future husband.
Then, I experienced a break-up. It was hard. I put all my energy into training for a half a marathon. While doing this, I kept going out and in 2008, an evening where I may have had a little too much to drink, I remember “the guy with the hat” asking me for my number. We both were out of a relationship. I gave it to him. He didn’t write it down. I was sure he would not call me. Then, one night he did. We talked on the phone for quite a while. He would never hang up first, I always had to be the one say bye (which was hard so we would talk for hours). Finally, one night we were talking and I still needed to go for a run so I asked him if he’d want to finish the conversation on the Monon and run with me. Surprisingly, he said yes. I guess this was our first “date” even though it was just a run.
Years passed and we grew closer. He became the person that made me laugh when I was sad. That made me smile when I was mad. He was the person that would dance like no one was watching. He was laid back and calm about everything. He was the person that helped me learn to slow down in life – that I did not have to have every minute of my day planned and full. He brought balance to my life. He was a keeper.
Then, December 2012 he proposed on Christmas. And I said yes.
We got married on March 29th, 2013 and have been married for 8 years today. As we drove to Louisville yesterday for a short getaway for just the two of us we reminisced about the past and could hardly believe that we have known each other for 15 years, together for 13, and married for 8. It seemed crazy, this girl who never thought she would get married, had seen so much heartbreak in her life from her parents divorce and her sisters various relationships. I had told myself I would never depend on a man to get me through life. I could live and love life as me.
And then Monterry entered my life. He is perfect for me. He has taught me that you don’t need to depend on a man yet you do need love in your life and someone that is there for you no matter what. He has also taught me that a relationship is about interdependence and that we do depend on one another in our marriage. Yet, with interdependence we also each value the others independence.
We continue to grow in our relationship, and for that I am thankful and blessed that he was brought into my life. Cheers to our marriage and the many more years to come that will continue to bring us closer in life and ground us in what is most important.