What is normal? Really?

Normal is what we make of it – the routines that we put together; the comfort we find in the people we hang out with or the things we decide to do; the way we choose to spend our free time. Normal is different for everyone and that is okay because our differences is what makes this world unique. My normal is different from your normal and that is perfectly normal.

For me, normal is being a white female who is a wife and an aunt but not a mother. Most make assumptions that Monterry and I have kids or that we want kids, yet our normal is to be there for others. We chose to not have children but love our nieces and nephews like they were our own. Our normal has it’s pros and cons but it is who we are. When people question our normal, it’s time to remember that our normal is not your normal. It is okay to not have kids and love kids at the same time. It is okay to make this choice in this 21st century.

My normal is being an educator who also has a passion for running, being a fitness instructor, and providing health coaching. I have a passion for my career as an educator as well as my career as a health professional. Some may think that I should choose one, but why? These both give me joy and therefore my normal is having two areas of interest that sometimes merge together and sometimes don’t and that is okay.

My normal is recognizing that I have affordances in life due to the color of my skin. I have definitely experienced marginalization as a woman and as a child who grew up in situational poverty. Yet I have never had to worry about being judged because my skin color is considered the norm. My husband does not have this luxury in life and as we continue to grow in our relationship I learn more and more about the differences in the way we navigate through life due to our skin color. My normal is different than his normal. And though that is okay, it is my hope that his normal changes in the future. Yet, right now, our normals differ in this area.

My normal includes me taking time to read and to write. It includes finding time to learn more as well as time to do absolutely nothing and just watch TV. It allows me to see my family again now that I’m vaccinated and it allows me to run with my friends. My normal is to stay busy – very busy – and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be the same as someone else but I feel best when I am being productive and doing something for others – my husband, my family, my friends, my colleagues, etc.

My normal is not your normal so is there really a normal? Yes, there are normative practices in society based on the various cultures that exist, yet normative practices within my own culture do not define my normal as I may enter into those practices or choose they are not for me. My normal is only mine. And I like it like that. Embrace your normal and enjoy operating as YOU in life.